Civilization: the historical
condition of the world whereby a few richer and more powerful people take as
much as possible from the many poorer and weaker people.
A lyrical, critical, and satirical gazette about our world.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
PROUD TO BE A….
Nothing signifies national
pride more than a flag. Showing the
colors is a dead on sign of courage in the face of any challenge to
sovereignty, be it military or sport.
How the heart throbs at the sight of a flapping piece of cloth flying
above a parade in the hot air from a cheering crowd. How patriotic for a politician or a corporate
executive to wear a cute little miniature flag in the lapel of a luxurious
suit. How reassuring to spot a flag
sticking out of a neighbor's front porch on Independence Day, Hegemony Day or
most any other day. How endearing to see
a vehicle painted hood to trunk in the glorious hues of the state standard. How wonderful to see flag hats, flag shirts,
flag tablecloths, flag napkins, flag beverage containers, flag balls, flag
kites… The list appears to be endless
but it's not. We could make and of
course sell flag condoms, flag diapers, and flag toilet paper. Still, this may be going too far, since we
are supposed to keep our beloved national pennant free of debris, detritus, and
dung, even though major money moguls wipe their much kissed asses with it every
time they shit on their fellow citizens.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
GOING FOR THE GOLD
Always time for the Circus
Maximus. Forget about rampant global
poverty. Forget virulent violence from
city streets to War Departments. Forget
about the dulling of human thought due to the endless escalation of pop culture. Forget about anything worth remembering for
the time being or at least as long as the Olympics last. From the Golden Age of the Greeks to our time
and probably until the extinction of our illustrious species, the games will
have successfully distracted the masses from their endlessly boring struggle to
survive and make decent lives for themselves.
How rewarding the vicarious thrill of watching a favorite competitor win
a contest and stand high center like a demigod with a gold medal for all to see
reflecting the rays of the sun! The spectacle brings tears to the eyes,
especially when the gold medalist is a citizen of one's own country. Of course the nation with most decorations is
by extension the greatest in the world, a status confirmed when the games
conclude and the time for war continues.
Friday, July 27, 2012
LOCK 'EM UP!
The Corporation for
Confinement of Americans states today in a press release that the solution to
the unemployment problem can be found within the walls of their
institutions. With stiffer prison sentences more men, women, and children
can be used to produce consumer goods for a small fraction of the minimum
wage. Given the high recidivist rate among the prison population, these
employed positions can continue indefinitely with only brief intermittent
breaks, eliminating the need for paid leave. Furthermore, many unemployed citizens
desperate enough to feed themselves and their families will succumb to robbing
grocery stores and other retail outlets. Considering the rising
popularity of personal guns for protection, such numerous
novice criminals are likely to commit felonies that will add to the rolls of
inexpensive labor. The CCA claims the endeavor shows such promise as to
suggest the return of the United
States to a manufacturing powerhouse.
A lateral benefit would be a whole new class of guaranteed consumers, for the
correctional population would of course be buying many of the goods they make
in their secured jobs. In this system everybody benefits: business
succeeds, people work and buy, and the streets of the nation are safer,
quieter, and less crowded with slackers, deadbeats, and otherwise useless riffraff.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
FOREVER SUMMER!
Unsurprisingly
many people welcome global warming with open
arms. Long weary of the chilly season of winter and even the less chilly
seasons of spring and fall, they eagerly look forward to years of endless
summer with all the heat and ultraviolet rays their skins can absorb.
"Can't get hot enough for me!" is their mantra. Affectionately
referring to the climatic condition as Good Ol' GW, reminiscent of two of their
favorite presidents, these fans of soaring temperatures do not fear the effects
of melting glaciers and rising seas. Characteristically rosy in their
outlook, they look forward to closer beaches and more room for water
sports--until of course it all evaporates. Coincidentally dermatologists
and manufacturers of skin tanning aids are thrilled by the enthusiasm rolling
across the land like a sirocco.
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