A lyrical, critical, and satirical gazette about our world.

Saturday, October 06, 2007


Now that many people have accepted sodomy as a perfectly natural sexual behavior, we should break down the barriers to all other ways of satisfying our constant lust. The sexual acts we should be able to enjoy are limited only by our weirdest fantasies. If we can imagine doing anything, we should be able to do it. Sex with other animals, sex with children, sex with machines, and any other carnal idiosyncrasies we can conjure should all become part of our repertory.

Since coitus between men and women committed to reproducing and raising human replacements is no longer the only sexual tradition, we are free to explore the most perverse possibilities. While at one time a clandestine taboo, we have so widely accepted homosexuality these days that we are ready for new acts of sensual entanglement. Even that evil aberration innocuously referred to as pedophilia is growing so much in popularity soon child molesters will have their own flag and participate in marches on capital cities by the hundreds of thousands.

Bestiality does not even raise an eyebrow of disapproval among increasing numbers of people. So we should not be surprised to see homobestiality and pedobestiality. They seem like the inevitable steps to follow the breakthrough into formerly forbidden acts of sexual depravity. Sex with other animals opens the crotch for more diverse carnal affairs, and science will probably find a way to reproduce hybrids between humans and other species. Homo-assinus and other delightful creations. The Minotaur may someday soon roar out of myth and bed down in the house next door.

The most phenomenal step in degeneracy, though, could be man mating with machines. Homoroboticus. Think of the possibilities! Orgies with androids designed to complement a person in mind and body. Forget the soul, for we lost that a long time ago. Technological matchmaking will become wildly popular. Digitized dating. Formulaic fornication. With sufficient purchasing power and perverse desire we could buy ready-made partners of either gender or cross-gender, kind, or age. If we were to be old-fashioned enough to be family oriented, we could produce little mechanical humanoids that look like models, move like athletes, and exhibit cunning to rule the world. When we destroy ourselves, our humanoids can rule the planet.

Maybe the ultimate in self-gratification at any cost or decline would be literally that—solitary satisfaction. Since we like ourselves more than we like others, even when we hate ourselves, the final step in our lascivious race to doomsday would be auto-erotic sexuality. It could be the way we have always wanted it. Hermaphroditic humans that obtain all the sexual stimulus and climax they need from themselves. Such a feat may of course require science to reproduce androids that are extraordinarily limber so we could suck our own genitalia. With enough creative advancement in physiology we could even possess the genitals of both genders properly positioned for more than self-sucking but even self-fucking.

This exciting prospect generates a whole new world of opportunities for wallowing in the flesh. And the great notion of mating with oneself bestows entirely new meaning on the once formerly offensive but now potentially encouraging remark: "Go fuck yourself."

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