TRAPS

In places like Saudi Arabia golf courses have grass traps.

AMBIDEXTROUS DEVIL

The Republicans and the Democrats are but the two hands of Satan.

PLEASURE MEASURE

When I was a young man, I could go to great lengths, but now that I'm old, I come up short.

BOYCOTT!

Boycott Amazon!

CAPITALISM

Capitalism is the bank for fascism.

SIGNS OF AGING

My slippers are so worn, my toes are playing peak-a-boo!

ART

Art is a lost art.

PATERNITY SUITE

Every father is a motherfucker.

JOY

Joy comes not from what others do for us but from what we do for ourselves.

HOPE FOR OBLIVION

I hope death means oblivion for when I am dead I would not not want to remember this beautiful planet and know that I could never again enjoy its wonders.

WEB JACKOFF

Internet masturbation results in an e-mission.

DECAPITATION

A beheaded pimp is a headless whoresman.

NOT USA BUT DEATH

The appropriate name for this failing nation of fifty states, numerous territories, and ever increasing occupations should be the Disunited Empire of American Totalitarian Hegemony.

RELIGION

Nature is my God and Art is my Ritual.

THE ART OF TORTURE

Consider this as a so called art project. Raise fifty homing pigeons in Florida. Remove them to Cuba. Strap cigar filled tubes or cameras on the creatures. Release them only to find about one third arrive home across the Straits of Florida. Most of them go missing or die. All for a political statement! Undoubtedly a worthwhile creative action. Just ask the birds that survive.

DEATH SENTENCE

The national government has deemed suicide a capital offense punishable by permanent solitary confinement in a box 84 inches long, 28 inches wide, and 23 inches high.

POOH

What does Winnie call his shit?

A SIGN OF AGING

You know you're slowing down when you finish thirteenth in a race with a field of twelve.

UNCOLORED

National Network News recently reported that Barack Obama has been stricken by a mysterious ailment that has caused his European-American ethnicity to dominate his appearance totally. Subsequently his approval rating among people of a liberal political attitude has plummeted.

MIND ACTION

To think is to work; to daydream is to play.