PATERNITY SUITE

Every father is a motherfucker.

JOY

Joy comes not from what others do for us but from what we do for ourselves.

HOPE FOR OBLIVION

I hope death means oblivion for when I am dead I would not not want to remember this beautiful planet and know that I could never again enjoy its wonders.

WEB JACKOFF

Internet masturbation results in an e-mission.

DECAPITATION

A beheaded pimp is a headless whoresman.

NOT USA BUT DEATH

The appropriate name for this failing nation of fifty states, numerous territories, and ever increasing occupations should be the Disunited Empire of American Totalitarian Hegemony.

RELIGION

Nature is my God and Art is my Ritual.

THE ART OF TORTURE

Consider this as a so called art project. Raise fifty homing pigeons in Florida. Remove them to Cuba. Strap cigar filled tubes or cameras on the creatures. Release them only to find about one third arrive home across the Straits of Florida. Most of them go missing or die. All for a political statement! Undoubtedly a worthwhile creative action. Just ask the birds that survive.

DEATH SENTENCE

The national government has deemed suicide a capital offense punishable by permanent solitary confinement in a box 84 inches long, 28 inches wide, and 23 inches high.

POOH

What does Winnie call his shit?

A SIGN OF AGING

You know you're slowing down when you finish thirteenth in a race with a field of twelve.

UNCOLORED

National Network News recently reported that Barack Obama has been stricken by a mysterious ailment that has caused his European-American ethnicity to dominate his appearance totally. Subsequently his approval rating among people of a liberal political attitude has plummeted.

MIND ACTION

To think is to work; to daydream is to play.

TOO MUCH EVIL, TOO LITTLE TIME

I intended to write the history of human depravity, but realized life is too short.

A CRIME AGAINST NATURE

Healthcare, as conventionally practiced, is a crime against Nature. Medical practitioners sometimes cure disease or repair injury to save human life but usually treat symptoms to prolong living. Preventive care, the most beneficial activity of medical science, is seldom practiced. For healthcare to be truly beneficent, medical professionals must teach a healthy lifestyle of diet, exercise, safety, and meditation. If a person suffers fatal injury or illness, so be it. As an old and ill man, I declare that if one cannot recover on one’s own, that person, or any living thing, should die. Death is Nature’s clearing house. Such a wise way of healthcare would eliminate time and money wasted on chronically and terminally ill and injured and also aging people to ensure a lower population of vital human beings on the planet.

DESIRES

Humans want three things of other people: to get something, to be given something, and to be left alone.

FANTASY

Happy Delusion Day! Otherwise known as World Religion Day.

THE MEANING OF HUMAN

HUMAN is an acronym for Horribly Unfortunate Mistake of Animal Nature.

THE ILLUSION OF CIVILIZATION

Freedom without justice is the illusion of civilization.

SACRILEGE

Deforestation is a desecration that will cause our eternal damnation.