POOH

What does Winnie call his shit?

A SIGN OF AGING

You know you're slowing down when you finish thirteenth in a race with a field of twelve.

UNCOLORED

National Network News recently reported that Barack Obama has been stricken by a mysterious ailment that has caused his European-American ethnicity to dominate his appearance totally. Subsequently his approval rating among people of a liberal political attitude has plummeted.

MIND ACTION

To think is to work; to daydream is to play.

TOO MUCH EVIL, TOO LITTLE TIME

I intended to write the history of human depravity, but realized life is too short.

A CRIME AGAINST NATURE

Healthcare, as conventionally practiced, is a crime against Nature. Medical practitioners sometimes cure disease or repair injury to save human life but usually treat symptoms to prolong living. Preventive care, the most beneficial activity of medical science, is seldom practiced. For healthcare to be truly beneficent, medical professionals must teach a healthy lifestyle of diet, exercise, safety, and meditation. If a person suffers fatal injury or illness, so be it. As an old and ill man, I declare that if one cannot recover on one’s own, that person, or any living thing, should die. Death is Nature’s clearing house. Such a wise way of healthcare would eliminate time and money wasted on chronically and terminally ill and injured and also aging people to ensure a lower population of vital human beings on the planet.

DESIRES

Humans want three things of other people: to get something, to be given something, and to be left alone.

FANTASY

Happy Delusion Day! Otherwise known as World Religion Day.

THE MEANING OF HUMAN

HUMAN is an acronym for Horribly Unfortunate Mistake of Animal Nature.

THE ILLUSION OF CIVILIZATION

Freedom without justice is the illusion of civilization.

SACRILEGE

Deforestation is a desecration that will cause our eternal damnation.

JUSTLY DESERVED

If we don't vote, we get the tyranny we deserve.

CREED OF GREED

Religion is sanctimonious selfishness.

TATTOO BLUE

An old tattoo is a permanent designer bruise.

HETEROSEXUAL CASTIGATED BY HOMOSEXUALS

Today, a heterosexual Californian was vociferously condemned by homosexuals around the world for using the word gay to describe one simply full of joy, for admiring a rainbow as merely a beautiful phenomenon of nature, for wearing a purple item of clothing to work, and for giving a same-gender friend an affectionate bear hug without signifying overt homosexual behavior.

NO GOD

Chance, choice, and change control the universe.

WILD ANIMALS

We are born wild animals that can be made sinners or saints.

DONKEYS

In fairness to political right-wingers we should keep in mind that Democrats are simply Republicans disguised in the costume of an ass.

CLUB EVIL

Today I tried to join the wildly popular international organization known as Club Evil, but the membership committee denied me because of a surplus of members and a hint of goodness left in my nature.

THE FIRST OF SPRING

Happy true new year!