NEWSFLASH!
The US Department of Pandemonium (USDP) states that the corona virus has mutated to appear in bowel gas. So if a person tests positive (assuming one can afford a test), that person not only can expel the virus through the mouth and nose but also through the anus. In other words flatus can now be deadlier than usual!
To prevent this noxious spread of the disease, the USDP has directed all persons to insert corks into their ass holes to prevent dissemination of the virus. The USDP further directs everyone to listen for popping sounds emanating from persons, for that could mean a fart has expelled a cork from someone's butt hole.
The USDP orders everyone to report anyone making such popping noises.
