KILL

A former military adviser and current aspirant for Congress is advocating a severe penalty for suicide.  "Since suicide is a crime," he says, "the punishment should fit the crime."  When asked about any action on those who attempt suicide, he said that they should be revived if possible and then shot.  His views are supported by the rapidly increasing Klan for Institutionalized Lethal Leveling or KILL.

LIFE SUPPORT

Thank God for the medical and pharmaceutical companies.  They are keeping us alive at all cost.  We all know of the situation of a terminally ill, comatose person on life support with no hope of recovery.  Owing to modern medicine, many of us are on a form of life support.  Babies born with totally debilitating defects are kept alive by means of science and technology to live as long as possible despite their misery or stupor.  People of all ages with chronic diseases are kept alive with surgeries, drugs, and radiation despite unpleasant side effects.  Old persons are kept alive by medical procedures, instruments, and chemicals to ensure they survive into their eighties, nineties, and beyond despite their decreasing usefulness.  All of them are on life support.  Remove it and many would die.  If we were left to live by genes, diet, exercise, and meditation, we would live only as long as our natural lives would last.  The natural way works for all the living things of the wild and it makes species stronger, but most of us are no longer wild animals.  So thankfully, we depend on doctors, procedures, and drugs to keep us working, consuming, and playing in ever-growing numbers.  In a natural world without artificial life support people being fewer, healthier, and more self-sufficient would not require it.  So, doctors would not be able to save and extend our lives while making themselves, hospitals, pharmaceutical companies, and other businesses wealthy.  We would have to take our chances with a treatment of healthy living.  Fortunately we need not be concerned about such a scenario.  Thanks to life support, most of us may live long, long, long, long lives--if we can afford it.

LET'S MAKE A DEAL

The Republican and Democrat candidates for the U.S. Presidency have struck an historic deal.  They agree to share the highest public office in the land if they can equally represent the wealthiest and most powerful people.

BILDERBERG CONSENSUS

After a lengthy meeting in an expensive hotel in New York City the prestigious Bilderberg Group came to the unanimous conclusion that being rich and powerful is a good thing.  Spokesman for the group, Ben Havitall, stated rather curiously, "Although wealth and power are naturally inappropriate for all persons on the planet, everyone should try it at least once."